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May 07, 2006
The dreaded HTML Condition - What is HTML?
In this post today, I'll talk about something that first occurred quite some time ago during one of our Live SEO Instructional Chats for students.
One of our very popular SEO Workshop trainers, Dave Barry who teaches SEO Mastery workshops with us also assists with training chats as well.
Now on several occassions we noticed that Dave liked to play a little joke on other students as he would be in a class instructional chat (usually while Robin Nobles or someone else was teaching) but to other students, he appeared to just be just another student.
At some point in an advanced SEO chat, Dave Barry would simply pop the question to the whole group "What is HTML?" Of course we knew it was Dave (who is a very advanced SEO instructor) was just having fun with the new students, who were bewildered by such a basic question (thinking Dave was a REAL new student and they probably wondered how he got into the training.)
2 Weeks ago in Orlando, Robin Nobles and I were smiling at this little recurring incident, but we decided to prepare a response for the next time Dave Barry would ask the question "What is HTML?"
What follows is a total excursion into some original but unusually convoluted explanation of the Acronym for HTML.
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Dave Barry pops the question...."What is HTML?"
Robin Nobles wrote to Dave Barry and stated:
> Actually, it stands for Hyper Tensive Manic Lunacy. (lunacy is the
> condition -- lunatic is the person with the condition)
> John Alexander will explain all of the symptoms of this
> condition to you.
> It's quite prevalent in the SEO industry, as you can imagine.
>
> Robin
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Hi Robin and Dave,
Actually, I'd be happy to explain...about HTML sympotoms. But let's take it in reverse starting with the term Lunacy.
Lunacy comes from the term "Lunar" referring to "late night" madness usually first brought on, while checking SEO rankings far too late into the evening. Early symptoms are watering eyes, the noticable urge to "right click" instead of "left click." In later stages, the afficted may even be found fixed in one position, staring blankly at the monitor even after the reports have run and the monitor has been shut off. From here the afflicted individual can move to a manic state.
The term "Manic" is the result of having a prolonged lunar affliction, which is evident by behavior best described as lunatic, berserk, crazed, demented, deranged, excited, flipped out, freaky, frenzied, maniacal, nutty, overexcited, psychotic, unbalanced, (or behavior similar to stage 3 in Rabies.)
The term "Tensive" refers to entry into a non-relaxed and highly "disagreeable" state, especially when debating SEO related topics or theories either live or in an online forum. Beware of asking a Tensive Manic Lunatic "just one more SEO question." At any point, one more question may cause them to snap and go "Hyper."
However, once the TML actually becomes Hyper, (HTML) there is no turning back and there are only 2 known cures.
"Hyper" is where the trouble really sets in and the individual is said to be a "possible menace" at conferences or any large "real world" seminars or at SEO related gatherings where typically all of the same old strategies are recycled year after year.
By this time, the HTML condition has fully set in and it is extremely important to exercise wisdom in opening any new topics or asking any SEO questions where Hyper Tensive Manic Lunatics are in attendance.
Regardless of their depth of knowledge or years of experience, the HTML may react violently especially towards anyone who may innocently say to them..."Can I just ask one more quick SEO Question?"
Interesting Note:
In the final stages, those who are badly affilicated, are often known to wander about for days continually asking about their own affiction. They often will wander right up to total strangers and ask...."What is HTML?" ...."What is HTML?"...."What is HTML?"
They may wander into a chat room and ask "What is HTML?"
Oh yes, you are wondering about the "2 cures" that have actually proven to reverse the condition back to some degree of normality (but only after years of treatment?)
-The number 1 preferred cure is a generous volume of Merlot, consumed slowly or otherwise but over a long period of time.
-The number 2 cure, which can be equally effective is a generous volume of Beer consumed over a period of time.
At any SEO related event, it is not uncommon to see a couple of HTML sitting together chatting over a couple Merlot and Beers.
In this stage of recovery, they are safe to approach so long as their glasses are full and so long as no SEO related questions are asked. That's it!
Hyper Tensive Manic Lunacy
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To the above text Dave Barry replied back saying....
Anything for the advancement of HTML and accompanying technology, uh....I mean accompanying beer and merlot.
Dave Barry
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This concludes our investigation into HTML and we will return you to more regularly scheduled high KEI value keyword observations very shortly in our next post.
In the meantime, if you wish to attend our upcoming SEO Mastery Workshop in Las Vegas on May 22-26, the details are here.
Our 5-Day Workshop Agenda is here.
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We will be posting more keywords here on the KEI Observation Deck shortly. Have a wonderful remainder of the weekend!
Best regards,
John Alexander
Search Engine WorkshopsWorkshop Resource Center
Online Web Training
Like the only REAL magic - the magic of knowledge.
Posted by John at May 7, 2006 10:31 AM